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Not Your Average Book on Singleness

I’ve gotten a lot of feedback on Altered before the Altar in the 2+ years the book has been published. Women tell me they were caught of guard or not prepared for what they read. They are surprised at the amount of scripture or the tone of the book. But by far the most common thing I hear is the book was right on time and helped deepen their faith and walk with the Lord. That pleases me to no end. It’s exactly what I wanted to do with this book–push women toward Jesus.

In my author’s note, I make it clear marriage isn’t the end goal of Altered before the Altar. The goal is to help young women become spiritually mature and equipped to handle whatever season of life they are about to enter on their Christian journey, to alter their lives in a positive way, and help them realize their worth as well as their responsibilities as Christian women. Yes, Altered before the Altar provides women with the wisdom to become wives, but it also seeks for women to be altered before the spiritual altar as well, to become better wives to Christ.

I am in a number of online groups and hear women bemoaning singles’ conferences and books all the time. All they seem to be focused on, they say, is how to be content single until you get married. They treat singleness like a disease. They set single women aside. I am more than my marital status. You get the idea. Many of these women will lump Altered into the same category of other resources for singles. They expect it to be light on scripture and spiritual refinement and heavy on Steve Harvey-esque, how to get a good Christian man tropes. I would be offended if I didn’t know their frustration so well. It’s the reason I wrote Altered the way I did.

I’ve neglected this space for a long time. The plans I had for it, and Altered before the Altar, were placed on the back burner while I pursued other things. Yet I’ve felt a tug on my heart and a nudge in my spirit to get back to the mission at the heart of Altered before the Altar. I finally have the seed of the sequel to Altered planted in my heart and am tending it patiently as the Lord leads. I’m ready to highlight other single women who are walking in their singleness well. And I’m finally ready to teach single women to live lives Altered before the Altar.

January 16th, 2017, I will start the Altered before the Altar Master Class. I can’t wait to see what God is going to do through this class. There are two ways to join the class: you can purchase access to the class via my online shop for as low as $5.00 (enter promo code TEAMSERIOUS at checkout for $5.00 off), or you can get in for FREE by sending your name, email, and a picture of you with your copy of Altered before the Altar to

I can’t wait to  spend time with all of you beautiful women of God!



P.S. There’s a major sale going on in my store. $5.00, free shipping, reduced prices on existing books, and pre-order pricing on the newly revised prayer journal and my bible study, coming in February 2017.  Everything bought from my store is signed by me and comes with free gifts. The Season for Getting Serious, my newest release, is the book you need to start 2017 off right. Order your copy and receive the first two chapters to begin reading immediately.


A Season of Engagement

I mentioned in ‘Tis the Season that Thanksgiving marks the official beginning of what retailers have labeled the engagement season. Many theories have been posited as to why Thanksgiving through Valentine’s Day is considered to be engagement season. Despite the reasons, many singles struggle throughout the holiday season.

One reason many struggle is because the holidays are geared towards families. This season highlights things many may feel they are missing out on if they don’t have those close family connections. This is the time of year we really need to pray for and remember those who have suffered the loss of close family members, specifically widows and orphans. It is also a time where we as singles really need to guard our hearts against depression and bitterness.

Now that all the leftover turkey has eaten and everyone has returned to their own homes for a couple weeks, I wanted to share a few tips and tricks for surviving the remainder of the holiday season. Here’s #1

Guard your heart. We hear this so often that we begin to roll our eyes when someone says it, but it’s really important to guard your heart. Our hearts determine the course of our lives (Prov. 4:23). We are what we think (Prov. 23:7). We know that death and life is in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:21), but did you also know that we speak from the abundance of our hearts (Luke 6:45 Matt 12:34)? We are taught to guard our hearts by casting down wicked thoughts (II Cor 10:5), but how exactly do we do that?

Throughout the next month, you will be bombarded with images that can cause you to be discontent or unhappy with where you are in life. There will be songs on the radio about spending Christmas with the one you love; movies promoting Christmas magic and falling in love with a big dose of happily ever after; commercials galore that showcase people getting engaged or getting gifts from that special someone; and plenty of social media images and statuses showcasing people getting fabulous gifts, getting engaged, visiting family, and otherwise happy in this season. It can be really tough not to want a little bit of that Christmas magic to rub off on your life.

Maybe your mom passed away and seeing your Facebook friends’ posts about cooking with their mom depresses you. Maybe you can’t endure another sentimental commercial about someone making it home in time for Christmas because you can’t afford to go home this year. Maybe exposing yourself to all of these things brings out your inner Scrooge.

It’s time to guard your heart against these things. Exercise more control over what you allow to take up valuable space in your brain. Whether you need to fast from certain social media or entertainment media, or set aside more time to study scripture or volunteer to help the less fortunate, give yourself something to think about other than what you perceive as lack in your life.

Trust me, I know it’s hard. I know it’s impossible to block every avenue through which feelings of disappointment, depression, frustration, and longing can infiltrate your heart, but being intentional about what you spend your time focused on works wonders.

Beyond being intentional about what you see, hear and do, develop a strategy for dealing with negative thoughts and emotions before you are confronted with them. When a family member starts pressing you about why you’re STILL single, what are you going to say? When someone mentions that you must really miss your dad this time of the year, how will you respond? When you think to yourself “this holiday season is never going to end. Everyone is going around happy and healthy and I’m never going to get to a point where I can feel that way,” how are you going to capture that thought?

Have scripture ready to combat these situations. The word of God is likened to a sword; let it be something you fight back with instead of the sharp edge of your tongue. When someone is quick to remind you of what you don’t have, combat the accompanying longing with a recitation of everything you do have that you can express gratitude for. Take your requests to God in prayer. He’s the only one that can give you the desires of your heart, anyway.

But if you’re going to ask Him for something, know that:

a)if it’s not according to His will, it won’t happen, and

b) you should be seeking His will for your life. Don’t expect His blessings if you can’t accept His correction.

Even if you don’t feel like social media, TV/Movies, commercials and etc. have an immediate effect on how you feel, know that the things that we see and experience often shape our perception. It may not seem like it affected you when you saw it, but watch how much shorter your temper gets with people, how you start to get impatient with the holidays and want them to be over, and how you question people’s sincerity. You can see the footprints of what we allow into our hearts in more ways than one. So step one to surviving and thriving this engagement season is to guard your heart, for out of it flows the issues of life.


Be blessed,